Monsoon Memories

With a loud bang, my room’s door closed. I woke up to find that it was just 3:30 at night. It was still dark outside. But there was something different in the air. There was a soothing effect in the wind that was blowing in through the open window that had smashed the door. There was that lovely odor in the air. I knew that odor. The odor when fresh rain falls on the heated dry earth. I love that odor. Drawing my curtains apart, I glanced out of the window. Yes, it was raining. Finally, it was raining. Thank God, it was raining. The weather had suddenly turned pleasant and cold and I wanted to enjoy it fully. So I stood at the window for few minutes. And my thoughts backtracked to all the monsoons that I have faced in Mumbai during last three years.

Each year, when it rains for first time, you feel elated. It is always a refreshing feeling when you see water coming down the sky and dissipating all the heat from the earth. This feeling prevails for next few days or weeks. To enjoy this ecstasy, you look for reasons to get wet somehow, or you plan trips to nearby hill stations. This is what we did one of the past three years. It was Saturday. My parents were out of station and after partying all night long with two of my friends (Vikram & Gurpreet), we were just hanging out at my place when suddenly it started thundering and pouring. All of our hangovers were gone in the instant. As the car was at our disposal, one of us suggested a trip to Lonavala. Hurrah! All things were decided in next half-an-hour. We also called up Vishal in Pune and asked him to directly join us there. That place is electrifying during monsoons and we took full advantage of it. Sitting on top of a hill, surrounded by clouds and sipping whiskey was one amazing experience. It turned out to be an excellent weekend.

But as I have said earlier, the monsoon ecstasy only lasts for initial few days. But often reaching office all wet and late by half-an-hour murders that ecstasy. Then by the middle of first month, you start to experience all the monsoon nightmares with water clogged roads, larger than life potholes and stink all around. I remember the 26th July deluge when unknowingly I got stuck while coming back from office. The half-an-hour distance was converted into awful 8 hours. I was thankful that I didn’t get drowned in any open gutter while I was traversing my distance on foot in waist-deep water. Also, I was thankful next day to find my bike as it is at the spot where I had left it previous day. That is another monsoon experience I will recall again and again.

Last year’s monsoon was the best. It rained but not that much to make you stuck inside your home. Also, during that period I had Lothika with me. So it was more fun to enjoy the rains with her. The first day it rained, I was on my way to her place. I got completely drenched on my bike but managed to reach the destination. Then, there was the day when we decided to make a trip to Lonavala (yes, the same place again) on bike but had to cancel it when the whole sky came pouring down. We had one successful trip, though. That was to Matheran with Gurpreet and Deepti. Matheran is always a treat to eyes during the rains. Although, it was a one-day trip we had quite a good time hiking around in the hill station.

It was 4:00 in the clock now. I went back to sleep, feeling good about onset of monsoon and thinking how to enjoy it next day.

But as my alarm went off at 6:00, I could feel that it was not same as it was few hours ago. It was bright and sunny and hot. The monsoon was not there yet. It is going to make us wait for few days more before I again revisit the memories of last three year’s monsoon.

Driving Blues

It is a bright sunny day. In the fifth gear of your car, you are swiftly and smoothly driving on the city roads in your best ever humor. Your favorite music is giving repose to your mind and body. You are engaged in an animated conversation with your partner on next seat. There is no sound but the sound of music and your conversation. You can’t help yourself to step on the accelerator more and more as you see wide, unhindered and spotless road in front of you. Outdoor scenery is giving solace to your eyes and you just wish that this could go on and on forever.

Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Abruptly, you break out of your reverie. It is a bright sunny day, but even the air conditioner is not helping to cool you of the tension. Although, you have your car stereo blasting away, the only sound you can hear is roaring of engines and incessant and unnecessary honking. The person on next seat is speaking something but you are so diverted to avoid hitting somebody that it is impossible to hear her. You are stepping more and more on brakes than accelerator. You can’t remember when was the last time you were driving in your best ever humor. Wide, unhindered, spotless, smooth, swift etc; those adjectives are no longer understandable by you. You just wish to reach your destination as soon as possible. Hence, you break out of your reverie and you recognize that you are in MUMBAI.

I love Mumbai. I really do. But whenever I’m out on its roads, nobody can help me cursing everybody and anybody that is around. I have lost the will to drive long way back. For me, commuting is the best way to practice new ways of cursing. You just can’t help yourself to say some offensive words to that BEST bus that is continuously honking behind you or to that auto-rickshaw driver who has just made a daring cut in front of you.

You want to drive on Mumbai roads. Keep in mind following tips:

1. BEST is the king. If you notice a BEST bus picking up passengers on a bus-stand while you are driving towards it, slow down. You don’t want to bang straight into this red beast as it makes a straight 45 degree turn coming out of the stand. They are the kings and you always make way for the kings.
2. Earplugs at traffic lights. You have stopped on a red-light and so has dozens of two, three, four or six wheelers around you. Don’t forget to plug your ears before lights turn green. You don’t want to turn deaf by honking that will start as soon as it happens. Apparently, the honker behind you believes that by some miracle honking will clear the road in front of him.
3. Auto-rickshaws cum Ferraris. Although it is rare, you may sometimes find an open road in front of you. But don’t be so happy because as soon as you have speed up your vehicle to 80 kmph, you will find a slow-moving auto-rickshaw in front of you pulling you back to 20 kmph. It’s not their fault. They are under impression that those tiny black things are miniature versions of Ferrari and nobody can overtake them.
4. Schumachers in taxis. Yes, that is true. The khaki dressed taxi drivers that you notice on Mumbai roads are actually clones of Michael Schumacher. Only the world Formula 1 champion can beat their skills of cutting across the lanes, swirling around in chaotic traffic or making their way through two vehicles. If only they are given a chance.
5. Holy roads. No, they are not blessed by almighty. But they are without doubt blessed by the BMC for creating so many pot-holes that your car can vanish in it and never be found till eternity. Dig and dig and dig and never fill up, is their motto.

And even if these aren’t helpful, come to me. I’ll give you a crash course on Best Practices for Driving in Mumbai. All you have to bring along is your driving license and a declaration, duly signed, that under no circumstances the trainer will be responsible for any unwarranted consequences during the tenure of the course. Optionally, if you know driving, that will be helpful too.